New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize