apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
