His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
