i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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