Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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