so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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