Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
