Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
