I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
