I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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