My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
