i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
