...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
