I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize