but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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