My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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