it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
