Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize