this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
