I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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