That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
