If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
