my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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