i think my tv is drunk
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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