that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
