1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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