well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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