i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
