apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
