perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
