Non-Jews are for practice
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
