The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
