Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
