Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
