I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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