i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
