Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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