I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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