she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
