I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
