Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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