I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
