we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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