yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
