Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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