pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
