oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
