The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
