i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
