let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize