Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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