VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
