I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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