I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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