Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
