Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
