just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
