you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
