His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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