just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
