Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Im part way to drunk.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize